TOP TIMESAVING TIP: Are you too busy with the hurly-burly of modern life to look like a proper xenophobic fuckwit on Facebook these days? Are you concerned that this might lead your friends to think you take a dangerously pro-foreigner position on things? Don’t worry! Help is at hand! Just take the text of this letter*, stick it onto a photo of Churchill smoking a cigar and post it up on Facebook. Hey Presto! People will think you’re one of those cool kids from Britain First!
Don’t believe us? Just listen to this satisfied customer:
I was absolutely incandescent with rage when I found out that my friends had taken my silence on Facebook as an indication that I had somehow gone soft on all them foreigns and benefits scum and scroungers and all that lot, but what was I to do? I was too busy making my Reg’s tea every night. Then I read this tip, posted it up on Facebook under a picture of Churchill flicking the V sign, and the next day I got 113 likes AND I put a brick through the window of the Chinese takeaway just down the road. Now who’s soft on them foreigns and benefit scum, eh? Now you’ll need to excuse me, my Reg fancied a beef satay but them lazy bastards have shut the Chinese tonight and I need to get some chips on.
- Mrs B. Twelvetrees
* Don’t correct anything. That’s important. The wording has to stay as it is for the magic to work. And whatever you do, don’t forget to put “LIKE & SHARE IF YOU AGREE” at the bottom.